Bellifer

Basking in our youths.

2009-11-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

I know I say this every end of the semester, but I can't help but lament on "ohemgee, its the end of another sem!".
I've got one more year to go and then, I wana be begone from this place I've called my home for the past 20 years. Can't wait to break free and start living my own life with no boundaries (or curfews, pfft).

I made it a point to keep in touch with the rest these few days. During the semester, I hardly spent time with them cos I had work and all that.

After dinner at the pork place in DPS, we headed for Round 2!

At Passion Corner in town.

Complimentary purple turtle jelly that came with our orders.

Ah Chin. We click cos we're born bitch-faces and can't help it lol. I got closer to here earlier this semester, after a few encounters. Since then, we've been hanging out. She's great cos sometimes she's my pillar of strength, and she's such a hard-headed girl who's been through so much and doesn't let things eat her up. She's like another big cheche to me.

You all know Adrienne. Yeah yeah, go lah. Leave us. hahaha
I met Adrienne during a production back in my first year. The experience was hilarious. Our group was a mix of the weirdest mix every. Then again, every Mass Comm student is weird in their own way. The mishap we had during the production still leaves us laughing all the time. She's also a DIY, interior design etc enthusiast, just like me!

Steamboat. Which was awesome. The last time I was there at Passion Corner was during my birthday with some guy buddies.

Sumit, who's one of the nicest guys I've met(besides boyfie, of course :P ).
Apparently Chelsea won against ManU the night before so he was parading around in his Chelsea jersey. Sum and I, we weren't close before. Just hibye friends. Its terrible how we only got to know each other closer now and they're all leaving already! They all asked me to stop being so emo though haha wtf.

I have a Tourism exam on Thursday, which is practically tomorrow.

With my partner in crime, Ah Chin, at Starbucks.

After 6 hours, 1 Toffee Nut Blended Coffee, 1 sandwich, 1 Caramel Chocolate Cake, I covered 5 topics in the form of mind maps. Then I went to work and was hit with a hugeee headache.
Guess thats what I get for not studying for the whole semester now I have to cram and memorize everything in 2 days.

I can't wait for it to be over and done with.

Geram on a Sunday night.

2009-11-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

/edit: So zee boyfriend said that everything Tyra said was true. Lol maybe I am biased cos I have monolids, I don't know. After much debate (lol), we concluded that we interpreted the video in different ways. As he put it "Its like we see a brown cat, you're arguing that its blue and I'm arguing that its red". HAHA I think that pretty much sums up for a lot of other things really.

So I was Youtubing for fun, and I came over this particular video while searching for makeup for monolids(which I am, duh). And I was like "Hey, I never watched a Tyra Banks series of her show before so why not?"

And I regretted it.

Why? Because she was so biased. And you have to watch the video to know what I am talking about. For someone as respectable as her, some of the things she said, and shot at that girl made my jaw drop and thought "poor her..".

Mind you, not Tyra. But the girl she was interviewing.

The stupidest, dumbest thing she said was that getting eyelid surgery was one step closer to looking like a Caucasian! W.t.f. I had the perception that she thought all Asians had monolids. Seriously? I can relate to the girl because it is true, when you have monolids, you tend to look sleepier (cos bigger eyes look brighter, more energetic) and the excess skin just sags over your eye, pushing down your lashes no matter how curly they are.

If everyone was to embrace whatever they have on their face, they'd be no lengthening/volumnizing mascara that promises that extra oomph, eyeliners or silver eyeshadow to "open up" your eyes. Those are all products to make your eyes look more noticeable and "open" anyways. So using eyeliner makes us want to look like Cleopatra and dolly eyes like Taiwanese girls eh?

Sure, she compared herself to the girl. Yes, she has the weave and she owns up to it (the applause audience gave during that moment infuriated me more). But the girl was no model, she doesn't have to prance around in beautiful lingerie and meet the press everyday so of course, she doesn't need any weave. So there shouldn't be any comparison really. Cos Tyra and the girl live totally different lives.

Even more ridiculous, Tyra interviewed the girl's boyfriend. Look at the supertext.

Steve
"doesnt believe girlfriend needed surgery".

This only pushed to emphasize on the point that Tyra didn't agree that the girl had to undergo the surgery. But if you listened properly, the guy did say that he didn't mind cos he thought she was pretty either way. I'm a media student, so I know even simple things such as supertexts can alter perspectives really drastically.

Why couldn't they have put..
"Boyfriend supported girlfriend through surgery.."
or
"Boyfriend thought (girl's name) looked pretty either way.."

I thought this episode was really, really stupid. Now I have a whole different view towards this show, emmy award or not. Pfft.

Too cute to miss!

2009-11-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

I dont care if it screws my blog layout. Why? Refer to post title. haha

Ughhhh

2009-11-07T11:09:00.000-08:00

I was cleaning my mess of a room yesterday and I took 2 hours alone to transfer from the clothes all over my bed into my cupboard. Yes, it looked like a typhoon hit my side of the room only. My cupboard is bursting, I'm running out of hangers and I'm ashamed to say I am awaiting more parcels to come in. Probably 5 by the end of next week. Thing about parcels is I come home and feel like a little kid opening them and all, anticipation and excitement when the apparel fits perfectly included.
I really got to stop this. /slams head against the wall.

On a different note, the sister and best friend will be back next week! Those are bigger parcels. Lol maybe I can open them up too hahaha wtf

One after the other.

2009-11-06T14:07:00.000-08:00

On the 24th last month, I headed out with the bunch of girls and we had dinner at Soho.

Sanshan and King. King left after a little while, after having a long day from golf, I think. Not really close to him, but I knew him from Jon, zee ex. lol

Sanshan with Joanne. Sorry about your eye, Shan.

Sonia and I. My hand looks cacat haha.

Foo Hua and Pris. Awww, he thought she was talking too much so he insisted on feeding her. Then some people from another table started laughing out loud. Sonia said maybe the girlfriend was asking her boyfriend why he doesn't feed her the way Foo Hua was feeding Pris. Lol. I was quite of a jealous fool of them that night.

My favorite from the lot, taken by Pris' camera. Looking forward to the next dinner. Don't be too confident Sonia, the bet is not over yet. Hahaha

Along the way, I also helped Adrienne with the Halloween Party at GCM.

The spiders they spent endless hours doing. They all did an awesome job. Too bad I was too grounded to attend the after-party AND the mass comm party pfffft. Long story la.

Speaking of Adrienne, she's leaving soon :(

Adorable Adrienne. Haha
Wednesday, we went to Zaika (my first trip there) for some Indian food. I'm in love with the nan and tandoori yum.

When you put 4 girls together, we can't help but talk. We started talking and laughing out loud when this girl rolled her eyes at us. What the hell, if you don't want to listen to what we're talking about then why are you eavesdropping ey? She kept making gestures at us, telling her other friend and I just stared at her. Wtf I hate people like that. Who think they're above all that, to roll their eyes at our etiquette in the public. If she hates noisy people (we can't help it), and thinks we shouldn't be doing that, then go dine somewhere else where she might not bump into someone other people's behaviour she can't tolerate. Why not book the whole place to herself at the same time? Seriously stupid.

Was pretty tempted to shoot some bitchy comment at her, but Chin and I both stopped talking for a bit. Then Chin was like "Aiya, the people behind me la!" quite loudly. Lol, I love my bitchy friends.

I'll miss Adrienne thats for sure. We had many memories during production and off campus times. When she clears her schedule to meet everyone else, we're heading for Texas.
/evil laugh.

The anger, it seeps out.

2009-10-27T18:30:00.001-07:00

I thought what I did could have struck a chord somehow. But you're still back to your manipulative self. Only this time - same shit, different people. How people treat you is just a reflection on how you've been treating those around you. By far, you're the first person I've seen to have karma turnaround and smack you in the face so fast. You're a hard nut to crack, because you're so foolishly stubborn. Some day, I hope, that when you do realize all the wrong you've been doing, there'll be nobody to lend you that shoulder, which you pushed away yourself in the first place.

This is the part I warned you about.

2009-10-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

ImissyouandithurtssosomuchIdontknowifthisisnormalbutIhaventhadit
inawhileIfeelsoalonesolostIjustwanttoshutmyeyesopenthemtofindyou
BetweenthemorningraysthecomfortofgraysheetsIwanttofeelthewarmth
inyourarmsthescentofyourbreathIwanttowalkhandinhandandgetlost
withyouinthecityPartofmeisnothereeverythingisabluritssadIwanttobe
nextyourighthererightathismomentImafoolthatwouldneverchange
Afoolthatwillneverunderstandorcomprehendthelogicbetweenthis
madnessThefeelings areoverwhelmingandImslowlylosingcontrol
Ican'tbreatheIwantyouNownownow

Tag in a long time.

2009-10-25T01:02:00.000-07:00

I was randomly browsing through missroum's blog before church this morning and found out that she tagged me with a confession tag. Seeing that I'm easing my eyes from the puny tiny words in the book I'm ready, I shall do this hehe.

1. I have this constant concious voice talking in my head whenever I look into the mirror. It'll always be "You look fat in that outfit", "Your pores are so visible", "Your boobs look flat in that top", "Your hair is full of split ends". I think this is a crevice in my self-esteem that I have deemed useless a looooong time ago. But it's always there. I don't know. I find imperfections in myself to pick on. Like how I didn't inherit my mum's well-endowed chest, my knees are dark, I have scaly skin and the list goes on.

2. I am a compulsive, impulsive shopper. I have the tendency to spend all my money to my last dime just because. I have a habit of scouring through review blogshops, and *poof* hundreds would disappear for pieces of clothings that I'd probably would never wear in the first place and have to resell. I need money management.

3. I think I am a loner. I don't have proper friends. But I have a great logic behind it LOL you can ask me personally if you want.

4. I am not talented in anything in particular or whatsoever. Not in drawing though I doodle. Not in baking cos sometimes it burns. Not in sewing cos I always break the needles. Not in dancing cos I haven't got no knack of rhythm. I just don't have a flair for anything. Do I hear "Oh yes, you are just average."?

5. I am extremely negative at times. Did you guess? Hahaha

Bakapades and more.

2009-10-24T00:39:00.000-07:00

So this is what I have been doing for the past week.

:D

My aunt needed some extra help at her nursery so I popped by a few hours every morning just to play with the kids, accompany them to watch Barney, change their diapers, feed them etc.
I like it when babies nua at me, want me to carry them or something like that. Hehehe, makes me feel loved! I went home everyday with porridge stains on my jeans.

And then, baking!
What else?

Cookie Dough Brownies!

The person whom I got the recipe from, her brownies looked nicer. I think I used the wrong pan. The cookie dough at the top is oooookay la. Hahaha, I shouldn't have put so much. But the brownies at the bottom rock my socks. No wonder its her staple brownie recipe.

So, today's our monthsary :)
I love you, baby.

The thing about long distance relationships is.. well, things start to get strained and everything will feel wrong. Small squabbles get blown out of proportion, and sometimes the feeling of missing each other gets so overwhelming that you don't know what to do with it.
I fell off the track, but something happened and I got back on, remembering what the big picture is and will be.

To many more years to come, my love <3

Reality hit

2009-10-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

I've grown so accustomed with meeting everyone's expectations that I failed to see what I wanted for myself. Finally, when I can't be fucked about what people want, I'm thrown into a sphere so foreign.. unfamiliar. I feel so lost. I feel like I'm floating around in a bubble, watching time and people past but I still don't know what's going on.
Time to get back on track.
I'm living life for me now.

To-do list.

2009-10-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going through a very euphoric moment in life lol I don't even know where to begin and explain gah I'm not making sense.
But, despite them happy moments, I have been neglecting and procrastinating with a lot of things :P

1. MUST work on assignments. Semester is finishing up soon.
2. Save up for Lumix, year-end trip, New Year trip, pre-CNY shopping (fuhh macam a lot!)
3. Clean my bed after exams.
4. (finally) Get around to sell my old clothes and others in between, preloved and not.
5. Do more DIY.
6. Spend more girlfriend time.
7. Workout more (HAHAHAHA you guys believe me, right?)

That's about it, I guess.
I have so much awesome stuff lined up in my life and its great! This is not some fake-smile-oh-im-so-lucky-in-life kinda thing cos I'm delusional. This is for real.

And though some of my plans may in the distant future.. well, it keeps me going :D

Yum yum tum tum nyum nyum.

2009-10-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

Slowed my car to 20km/h just to get this picture. I'm a sucker for pretty clouds XD

Life has been treating me good, no complains here. I realized that its pretty dumb when people have better than average lives yet they'll look for a miniscule problem to pinpoint on and then moan/groan about it. I was guilty of that, but I've grown to understand just how lucky I am.

I skipped class(so what's new?) this afternoon and surfed websites for lotsa recipes.
So I decided to make Chocolate Self-Saucing Pudding.

When it first came out, I was like shit why does it look like a lump of turd. How the hell was I going to finish it cos my mum would definitely scold me for wasting her flour and all sorts(which I bought in the first place anyways) lol.

But little did I know!

It tasted fucking awesome, pardon the picture. The seemingly uncooked parts are the sauce and its a teeny wee bit sickeningly sweet but I'm sure I can sort that out for future bakes. The caramelized top adds a different flavour to the chocolate.

Eating it as I'm typing.. hehe yes I am a glutton.

Mum kept muttering "ee so sweet. too sweet eee" but she polished everything off her bowl anyways! :P

Got the recipe here..
Any of you baking enthusiasts should try it out!

Morning fix

2009-10-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

I listen more to loud music, but something calming once in a while won't hurt.

This tugged at me.

2009-10-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

" I was like a lost moon - my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation - that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity."'

Prom'09

2009-10-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

I know I have been MIA for crazy donkey time, often neglecting my blog. I've been pretty much keeping away from lotsa things, people included and I don't know. I think I'm sieving my life somehow. But if you follow my Twitter, you can tell I'm very much alive and am still kicking ass. lol

So yes, this year's prom was Stars of Romance.
How does one look romantic? Hahaha okay.

Our table was very close to the stage.

I really have to be grateful for SanShan and Sonia, who accompanied me throughout the whole preparation process. Gave me comments about how I should do my hair and everything. Really made this whole prom a lot more memorable.

Phebe and I. We all thought she was smokin'. Hahaha

Kovui and Joanne.
We met a lot of familiar faces that night. Then again, duh, Curtin is a small community.

Shannon's hair was cool. Haha I don't think he knew the extent of greeness in his hair cos when I showed him the picture, he went "Are you serious? That's how it really looks like?!" Hahaha
Some of us dateless people were just sitting outside having some chitchats.

Lau and Bowie. =)

Yeap, it was all good this year =)

I didn't go for the afterparty although a few asked me to. I found out some of my old highschool mates went too.. I heard it was cool, but I also found out there were some bad parts too. Thats the thing about booze parties. People tend to go wayyy out of control sometimes..

There'll be more pictures in my Facebook. When I upload them hehe..

Looking forward to next year's prom though =)
Can't believe it'll be my last..

Its complicated when I make it.

2009-09-27T21:31:00.000-07:00

Even if it means my half an hour of cardio just went down the drain.

:)))))))

Choo choo, coming through.

2009-09-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

(taken from ache)

Where do unmade dreams go?

You know. Those dreams that you always linger your thoughts in, the ones that peep at you from the corners of your mind. The ones that often leave you smiling at the end of it.

We're always piling these dreams up. Like a skyscraper.

Started with one single brick of hope. Then you build it as you go along - happy with the outcome, discarding bricks that do not go along with that dream.

What happens when something, or someone.. comes along and knock it all off without your consent? And that something or someone leaves you falling and falling..
Like that nightmare where you just keep falling and you always force yourself to wake up.
Only this time, you can't force yourself to wake up. You keep falling and fall right in your face on the cold, concrete floor.

Do you build that dream again?

Or do you, like many others.. tuck it in a pocket, zip it up to never be opened again?
Like a corked bottle you leave floating in the sea.
Like a balloon that flew with your once upon a dream so high to the sky, it slowly fades into a speck in the galaxy.

Maybe that's how stars are made.

I've finally come to realize.. just how fragile my life is. All this while, I put a brave front but all along it was a facade to hide my fears. I have had several conquers in my life, none that I can even remember now that I think about it. Nothing to "Oh, I've ...," or "Hey, you know what? I've accomplished..".

That's how life is always measured, isn't it? Through accomplishments. How far one has gone through, the shit and all that gore in between.

Just when I thought I was going through the prime of my life, I take a turn and hit against a wall so hard it knocked me down. What I thought was right, was actually wrong.

I hate this train of thought.
This sense of.. longing I have hovering my head. Its killing me..

I hope it'll be over before my week starts.

And I found this mind-provoking.

2009-09-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

Found this on Adrienne's Facebook.

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams."

- The Alchemist

I found this cute.

2009-09-25T23:16:00.001-07:00

Listen to this.

Calming.

Take a pick.

2009-09-25T04:16:00.000-07:00

You often hear them say,

"My heart is weak, but my mind is strong."
or
"My mind is weak, but my heart is strong."

I wonder which category I fall into..

Back to reality.

2009-09-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

Gotta find a way
Yeah, I can't wait another day
And nothin' gonna change
If we stay around here

Gotta do what it takes
Cause it's all in our hands
We all make mistakes, yeah
But it's never to late to start again
Take another breath
And say another prayer

Then fly away from here
Anywhere
Yeah, I don't care
We'll just fly away from here
Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
Won't let time pass us by

We'll just fly..

**************************

Its time to clear the clutter. And contrary to many's belief, there ain't much broken pieces to pick up anyways.
This time, I throw away the things and people I don't need. It sounds like a bitchy and selfish act, but I truly believe this is something that I need to do.
You see, I'm chasing the bigger picture now, and whatever comes in between that.. can go fuck itself and die. Lol

There are very few people in life whom I call my best friends. There are some I may talktalk to but it might also mean nothing. I don't know, what I do don't make sense anymore. I miss the people who really know who I am, and understands what it is I want from life and all this. And these are the people that will stick by me no matter what, bitchy comments included (yes, I mean you Daph).

I know, I'm a joke at times. People find it funny when I make stupid jokes that cross my mind and I let it slip so easily. But I'm tired of that. You people think I'm here for company, for laughs like I'm some fool in a jester hat? Nosireeee, that's not gonna happen no more.
I'll say no when I want and comment what I deem fit.

It's time for a good change.
Bring it on :)

p/s: Today happens to be the birthday of someone who means a lot to me. Happy Birthday! =) *hugss

Accidental break

2009-09-17T03:31:00.000-07:00

I know I have not been updating a lot. The sudden drop in the internet nowadays really dampened all my uh.. online activities. Opening mails are so difficult and that can get really annoying. It's worse even in campus.

So, AppleBox Pictures (the only club I signed up for in campus and I'm the secretary for) had its event for this semester, which was initially conducted by the Photography club before they merged with us. Fuh, long sentence.

Several students were invited to become models for the day and photography enthusiasts had the chance to uh, work around their thangs and learn proper portrait photography that day.

I would say, the event went on pretty well. Quite a lot of people turned up and I don't know how to put this but, none of the media students attended the event.

Hahaha. It has actually dawned upon me that majority of the people I know.. that own SLR cameras or that lot, are not people studying photography or media at all.

I think those high-tech cameras are really cool and all. But they're so bulky and not travel-friendly. Its slowly becoming a trend, teenagers bringing it around like some accessory but hey, I'm not condoning those who have it. I'm just saying more and more people have it.

Its great seeing how some people are really pushing it to pursue their passion for photography. And I met lotsa people, both students from engineering and commerce who love taking photos.

On a totally different note, am I the only media student who thinks that after years of going through the course, we start to realise that media is a very manipulative and cunning medium?

Like my friend put it..
"We all learn and find out that media is evil. We're studying media.
Does that make us followers of evil?"

Haha :P

Escapism

2009-09-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

One of those nights, when I needed to just be away from home, I went out with some friends..
Got some belated birthday gifts.. lol

My buddy, Geof and his girlfriend are running a business of selling Taiwan masks. They're cheap, and are not like the jackuped priced masks sold in town. If you're interested, you can contact me anytime =)

I've been cooped up at home, mostly. I hate being out nowadays, I don't see the point in it.
Been skipping classes, been brushing off questions.

Escape, run away, duck, run some more.

That's what has been running through my mind over and over again.
Memories lingering, so many etched at the corner of my head.
Every corner I took, every road I drove - there, everywhere.

I once built my defenses high,
Someone came along and took it down with a sigh.

Time to get my hands dirty and build them up again, baby.
Tears aren't going to solve my problems.

Move along..

2009-09-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

I have so much to do! It seems that time is running out. =/
Yet I find every reason in me to just laze yesterday.

What did I do yesterday?
I woke up, brought my sister to tuition.
Was online the whole time.
Went on a car ride with the abang Geoffery.. twas liberating.
Came home.
Nap.
Chendol.
Work.
Home.
Skype.

See? I even got lazy to describe what I did.

I am not all useless and hopeless, don't worry.
I have some plans tucked in my pocket but they all include crazy amounts of money so of course, still gotta consider properly before I make up my mind.

The days are surprisingly passing by faster than I thought.
I can't believe its been 2 weeks since. But I'm glad for the moment.
It's all a blur, really.
I can't wait to get away from here, even just for a bit.

Hohum..

2009-09-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

Word by word.

Guess who just got Twitter?
Its pretty addictive, I must say.

Okay, imma get back to my book review now. :P